HOW TO SNIFF OUT A HOODRAT ON FACEBOOK

   Not to long ago i went to school in a far away city in rural Utah, a very small city, it has a population just over 5,000 people. The sole reason I went there was for football. The school had a very good program and football payed for my tuition.  It was a tough decision and quite the sacrifice but the scholarship was enough to push me over the edge into a rural twilight zone.  Everybody drove pickups, chewed tobacco, and the funnest thing to do was go bunny blasting at night, its called "spotlighting." (I couldn't do it though, never had the heart to blast Thumper)  I learned a lot there, a lot about white rural culture, even though I am white I grew up in a pretty diverse place and in an Italian household. I suffered from a good case of culture shock, I had never even seen swing dancing before I went to this place!
   Anyway, despite the cons of passing some valuable college years in small boring town, I had some good friends down there who were all in same situation I was: BORED OUT OF OUR MINDS! But with good company we learned how to have a good time, especially on the weekends. (S/O to Da Franchize click here for details)

Da Franchize

Lets be honest...We look Good

   However, most weekdays consisted of exhausting practices, workouts, followed by study, then we were left with no energy but a few hours a night to fill.  Many of these nights ending up being passed in the library with our computers listening to music, watching YouTube, and of course the inevitable FACEBOOK.  Quality ladies were few and far between in the small town, it was practically impossible not to swap spit. (it still doesn't justify the whole cousins thing tho, GROSS) So, often we banked on the weekend trips to the city to see the ladies. In the meantime we wanted to do our homework, as to not waist our valuable weekends with a Hood.
  I believe the idea came from Diddy, and together we developed a pretty good system to sniff out the hoodrats with nothing more than a quick FB stalk.  (You all do it! Don't Judge!)
The system turned out to be pretty good, very funny, and works for guys and girls with a little bit of adjusting.  There are 4 criteria/signs of a Hoodrat to look out for:

1. Number Of Friends
If the person has over 1500 friends, that is a bad sign! Nobody really knows 1500 people, you probably really only have 12 real friends if your lucky, add acquaintances and your at a few hundred.  Too many friends means she has had some scandalous profile pics and she accepts all those requests that are nothing more than a FB hook-up.  There are a few cases where it can be justified, such as living in multiple places, but still, that number should be monitored and when you reach a few thousand friends!!! Watch out!

2.The Bikini Pics
There is no problem with going to the beach and I hope you all wear your swimsuits there.  If some pics of you in the swimsuit show up on FB that's not problem.  But if your profile pic is a super sexy swimsuit pose, or if you have 100 photos of you posing in your swimsuit or less, that's a bad sign.  The idea is; there is a classy way to do it and a scandalous way to do it. For example, the guys flexing in the mirror while taking a pic of himself=Hood and D-Bag. (Excuse my French)

3.The Jazz Jersey Pic
Chicks don't really care about sports but they know that guys do. So, cleverly, they often sport some sportswear to catch the attention of the one-track minded fellas, Hoodrats are sneaky like that!  So if you find some pics of the ladies wearing a now expired Deron Williams or Kyle Korver jersey (Cuz they are sooo dreamy!) be on alert! The jersey is most likely stolen from one of their ex-flings that took them to game on a date, and it is accompanied by some booty shorts like they really do just wear that to bed because they are such dedicated fans. Its all a hoax fellas!

4. The Quasi Engagement Pics
How often do suckers end up in a photo, with a girl they probably really like at the time, that look like engagement pics? Often these are in front of the temple, after church, or in a meadow or some other pretty setting they happened to be passing by.  If the couple is really engaged, good for them! But I'm not talking about the couples here. I'm talking about the Hoods that have pictures like this with a bunch of different guys! That's Trifling!  It's almost like they are on FB just to show off her prize catch and the fact that she has caught several different homies.

 If some or all of these criteria are confirmed, just stay away!! That's a certified Hoodrat at work!!
None of these alone are necessarily an serious issue, but several at the same time raises a serious flag.  This isn't meant to offend anyone who is guilty of these, and I'm sure we all have a list of excuses, but if these angered you in anyway, consider editing your profile a bit.  I apologize now for everyone who took offense, let me hear your excuses please! Also, if you have picked up on other signs let me know and we can add them to the list.